Security Blanket
Blanket statements were
made
To protect our toes from
getting cold.
He wrapped me up like a
cocoon, so
I may sweat out my
fever.
When I will transform
Gently blowing on my
forehead
as sweat beads soaked
the mattress.
Sewing war and silence together,
but he got too many
pricks on his fingers
and the blood sunk into
the fabrics.
The broken hem trails on
the ground,
gathering tissues and
candy wrappers
unraveling the blanket
draped
around my shoulders.
under our blanket fort who
rules?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIn the second to last stanza if you want to emphasize the blanket getting ratty and gross you could change "tissues and candy wrappers" to outside items.
ReplyDeleteI like how you use the blanket in unexpected ways. For example, blankets are normally comforting, but in your poem it is a symbol for a relationship. My favorite line is "gently blowing on my forehead / as sweat beads soaked the mattress." It provides great imagery.
ReplyDeleteI like the implicit imagery in the first stanza with the cocoon transforming you and staying warm. The oxymoron of war and silence is used very well. I think you can add something to the last stanza to really strengthen it and bring it home.
ReplyDeleteTaylor this is by far your strongest poem. I felt a sense of security from the blanket as I was reading it, which does not happen very often. I think adding a question mark to the line "when will I transform" will cause the reader to think more about the poem.
ReplyDelete